Sprouting Forth!

A poem written by our friend Frances about an event that occured on our last visit. We arrived the weekend after her daughters and their husbands had been for Sunday lunch....

Sprouting Forth!

I was busy with cups in the kitchen

Making tea for the guests who had come

When I said to Steve

“It’s peculiar but this cupboard’s beginning to hum!

It was a cupboard where we kept all our china

Every cup, every saucer and plate

Not a place where we kept any comestibles

So what caused its smelly old state?

Had something died in its corners?

Was there room for a rat or a mouse?

But we found there no sign

No hole, not a chink

So what was wrong with our house?

Years before there’d been damp

In this corner

We’d had it fixed before the cupboard was there

Was this then a return of the problem?

We were now filled with worry and care!

Damp left untreated can lead to dry rot

A fungus that grows

Through a house in a jot

It can eat through hard brick,

Wood, stone the lot

And smells as disgusting

As food you’ve forgot!

So now we’d have to rip out our dresser

We’re objects of fear and dismay

Tomorrow we’ll call out a surveyor

There was no time for pause or delay

We thought of this house filled with family

Just a week ago

They’d been with us here

We’d cooked up a lovely big dinner

They’d filled us with joy

And with cheer!

And after they’d said

Put your feet up!”

as our energy started to zap

“We’ll clean up the mess and the dishes

so pop up and have a nice nap!”

But now we were back to the present

Today we were worried and glum

As we dished up a meal for our guests

And thought of the trouble to come!

Our friend takes a dish from the dresser

Lifts the lid to put in veg for our meal

But the whiff it emits knocks her sideways!

A smell just like death

That would make anyone reel!

One dead brussel sprout

Is the cause of this fuss

That caused us to worry and tremble and cuss

To think about damp and dry rot or wuss!

So think when your kids

Say they’ll wash up for you

They’ll tidy the kitchen

And make it like new

Cos a dish that’s left dirty

Can throw out quite a phew

Your dearly loved kitchen

Can smell like a zoo

And to find out the cause

Could cost you a few!

by Frances Lee 2010

For my sprouty friend Anita and my anti-sprouty friend Zoe!