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Thursday 25 August 2011

Sprouting Forth!

A poem written by our friend Frances about an event that occured on our last visit. We arrived the weekend after her daughters and their husbands had been for Sunday lunch....

Sprouting Forth!

I was busy with cups in the kitchen
Making tea for the guests who had come
When I said to Steve
“It’s peculiar but this cupboard’s beginning to hum!

It was a cupboard where we kept all our china
Every cup, every saucer and plate
Not a place where we kept any comestibles
So what caused its smelly old state?
Had something died in its corners?

Was there room for a rat or a mouse?
But we found there no sign
No hole, not a chink
So what was wrong with our house?

Years before there’d been damp
In this corner
We’d had it fixed before the cupboard was there
Was this then a return of the problem?
We were now filled with worry and care!

Damp left untreated can lead to dry rot
A fungus that grows
Through a house in a jot
It can eat through hard brick,
Wood, stone the lot
And smells as disgusting
As food you’ve forgot!

So now we’d have to rip out our dresser
We’re objects of fear and dismay
Tomorrow we’ll call out a surveyor
There was no time for pause or delay

We thought of this house filled with family
Just a week ago
They’d been with us here
We’d cooked up a lovely big dinner
They’d filled us with joy
And with cheer!

And after they’d said
Put your feet up!”
as our energy started to zap
“We’ll clean up the mess and the dishes
so pop up and have a nice nap!”

But now we were back to the present
Today we were worried and glum
As we dished up a meal for our guests
And thought of the trouble to come!

Our friend takes a dish from the dresser
Lifts the lid to put in veg for our meal
But the whiff it emits knocks her sideways!
A smell just like death
That would make anyone reel!

One dead brussel sprout
Is the cause of this fuss
That caused us to worry and tremble and cuss
To think about damp and dry rot or wuss!

So think when your kids
Say they’ll wash up for you
They’ll tidy the kitchen
And make it like new

Cos a dish that’s left dirty
Can throw out quite a phew
Your dearly loved kitchen
Can smell like a zoo
And to find out the cause
Could cost you a few!

by Frances Lee 2010

For my sprouty friend Anita and my anti-sprouty friend Zoe!


  1. Oh Lynn!!! LOL, I love this poem soooo much....especially the culprit of the offending whiff LOL! Your freind is very talented with wording isn't she....and that filled dresser is beautiful! Oh my goodness this has made me chuckle so much....Long Life the Sprout!!!

  2. Bwah.........I've just seen this! So so funny I love it! Thank you for sharing! Sprouts are evil and I shall continue to spread the word! xxx

  3. Great poem and glad she found the offending dish before ripping out the dresser!


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